Rising from the dirt.

Nothing sucks more than feeling hurt.
Feeling like you should be buried in the dirt.
Confronting a person then lies to your face.
Those people to me are just a disgrace.
Even so those people I do not hate.
In life I have learned to accept what I cannot change.
Its out of my hands, no longer is anything the same.
For know I will make the effort to atone for what I did.
I want to be out in the open, acting like a man not a kid.
Giving school my all is something I want to do.
Remember that I cannot focus without eating some food.
This year has been a strange one, a lot of surprises.
Honestly the surprises weren't all that nice at all.
Some of them caused me to tremble and fall.
Honestly What I did back then, I do NOT want to repeat.
I would like to be able to live normally and be able to sleep.
Confidence builds me up and I gain strength from that.
Taking precuations for my emotions so I don't feel like crap.
The sun is out and clouds part away.
All times arent bad, I look for the good days.
Although I am human, I do try and lend a hand.
There are somethings that I do and don't understand.
Being stared, it makes feel like I am weird.
 I know I am not, I'm quiet like a deer.
So if I don't say anything, don't judge me.
God created me and he shows me my destiny.

Last Day of November

Well, Today is the last day of November with 10 mins left.
This month I just want to say I am thankful.
My Thanksgiving I didnt spend with my family.
I did however spend it with Ta-kitty.
God made it all possible.
We didn't have anyone else  but we had each other.
And Black friday this was the 1st time i actually worked on that day.
But other than Than Spending our anniversary together I promise to make up
for what has happened this year.
I pray for Guidance because I am only Human.
I make mistakes, everyone does.
Even after I still own up to it you know and I feel relieved.
Thank you lord for creating me and thank you for allowing to have a girlfriend who actually cares about me.
who wont leave or call me a piece of crap. Some one who will actually return my feelings.
I Love Ta- Kitty :)
And this wasnt all possible if it werent for you Lord.
Thank you

3 questions

What does it take for a person to care about someone other than themselves?
Living Life freely without pain or suffering/ Is it just a dream?
People treating others with respect. Is it a crime to change?

What is going thru my head pt 8

At times I feel like i have lost a part of me.
Music, games,and card games, what does it mean?
These things  I used to do. Where did it go?
I can only answer that myself, no one knows.
When it comes music, there's hip-hop and rock.
Think of trek, I wish i were Spock.
Reading helps me think of new things to write.
I would talk to a person instead of wanting a fight.
I am Jynex, I am not the best or better than rest.
Always wondering on what to do next.
Living Life one day at a time.
People look at me strange. Why?
What's the problem.
Am I am snob ? No

I'm better off leaving that for the people that are stuck up.
For them I would tell them to Shut the Hell up.
You are a human being.
No one is perfect what are you seeing.
I see that the person that can help others.
Like a son giving food to his mother.
Here is where i finish this.
Striving for a better tomorrow, instead of being selfish. 

Rose

Roses are red, yet they have so many thorns.
Scraping my shirt that I have previously worn.
Should I leave it where it is or should i look else where.
When the rose pricks you, it doesn't care.
It doesn't have  eyes so it can't see.
It doesn't have a mouth so it cant speak.
A rose is valued more when its admired from afar.
When touched, it leaves a scar.

What theHell? An everyday Scenario

How I feel right now is hard to describe.
I feel i just got stabbed with a knife.
Just because I wasn't able to do what i said i was going to do.
You get mad at me and tell me off.
What the Hell?
What gives you the right to be mad at someone.
Getting mad at something that doesn't go your way.
Taking it out on the wrong person.
Someone that is there for you.
As I recall I never said no.
But if you actual listen not everything is suppose the way you wanted to go.
No one has their way in this world.
If you are miserable, so is the next person.
The next choice is up to you. Think carefully.
Think on how are you going to solve the problem.
It will come to you in due time.
But for now, just take a deep breath and cool down.

My thoughts on 2010....

It has been tough year for me and i am grateful that i was able to get through it.
Looking back on this year it has been more negative and it seem like all hope was lost.
Dealing with my own personal issues like my family, not being able to fine work, and my relationship.
Thought swirl in mind questioning my own existence and why I did certain things back then.
I am very sorry for everything I have done not just this year but everything in general.
Had some trying time dealing with my past and i can it wasnt easy at all. I been reflecting
on the decision I have had made 2yrs back in 2008. But i can safely now I can put that rest now.
For the lord has blessed me with a new job. I am very thankful for that.
I want to apologize for all of the struggle that has happened.
Tara's Birthday and My Birthday I want to make up for what has happened Lord willing.
I have come back to Arsenio's house. Joe's lil bro Zach thinks I am Good teacher.
Reading that letter almost made me cry.
I dont know whats going on with my brothers. I do think about that and what they are doing.
I know Tyler wonders if i will ever come back ?
For now I just have to have faith in the Lord.